Sep. 16th, 2010

Another one.

Yup, I sort of caved in. I'm on twitter, pls to be following me, so I stop looking pathetic.


Aug. 12th, 2010

I'm shamelessly spamming every single social network with this.


That is all, thank you very much.

Aug. 7th, 2010

The thing to do, today.

I don't expect you to read this, I really don't.

100 questions. )

Jul. 18th, 2010

10in10 Icon Challenge

Well, finally. Not completely happy with all of them, but whatever.


Clicky click for more... )

Jul. 17th, 2010

Meme... yay?

Stole this meme from giorgia and Kate. Procrastination ftw.

Things you never wanted to know about me in the first place. )

Jun. 17th, 2010

I'm... free.

Finished my oral exam astonishingly well. Which means my final grade is 1.2, which - on a scale from 1 to 6 - is definitely really good.

And now I have finished school and university won't start until October, so I have four months of free time to look forward to.

This is rather scary, actually.

Apr. 20th, 2010

Uhm... not sure what to say right now.

Okay, so I just talked to my grandma on the phone. First, let me say it is difficult with her. She is 86 years old, lives in a nursing home and has been kind of depressive since her husband died a couple of years ago. Plus, she is one of those old people who are generally disapproving of pretty much anything the younger generations in general and - more specifically - their families are up to. So yeah, it is hard to find something nice to talk about with her that she is interested in. But obviously one needs to take care of their family and so I always try.

Anyway, one of the things she IS still interested in is TV. Those cheesy ZDF flicks and series that a certain Timo Hübsch has been doing quite a lot (as Wikipedia told me), to be precise. Knowing that he used to be the male lead in "Wege zum Glück" not long ago and being very, very sure that said grandma does watch that shit, I mentioned him being in AWZ at the moment. Completely innocently. Casual conversation. Really. Just to have something to talk about.

Turns out those fangirl-genes seem to be inherited. Because my grandma is a total fangirl. *headdesks lots* She was all "OMG, I LOVE HIM, I'M SO GONNA WATCH THAT, WHEN DOES IT AIR?"

She does kind of know about my fandom activities. You know, that it's a gay storyline, that I enjoy watching it. I don't like to hold back about stuff I love and stuff that's important to me, so everyone knows. Kind of. And I don't think she thinks that it's awful that I watch it and I wouldn't consider her a homophobe or anything, but I don't think she gets it either.

And she is still a 86-year old lady with 86-year old values and OH NO, I AM SO NOT COMFORTABLE WITH MY GRANDMOTHER WATCHING MY SHOW. I CANNOT COPE, ALL I DO IS FLAIL HELPLESSLY. *continues headdesking*

Mar. 29th, 2010

Sappy post is sappy.


Okay, I haven't even left my house for 95% of the weekend and I'm still so incredibly sleep-deprived it's not even funny anymore. That actually says everything.

No Horde Left Behind was the most amazing thing ever! (Okay, next to GOOL itself, probably.)
So I really need to say this: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR PUTTING THIS TOGETHER, SHELLY AND KATE, OMG! *capslocks madly*
Until I learned about NHLB, I was thinking this weekend would be, like, extremely unsparkly and I'd have to be really grumpy the whole time.
Instead there's this ****ing amazing thing. Marathoning with everyone even brightened the Dark Years. Everything was fun, really, Hordes even turn usually dull chatty smalltalk like "How did you get your nickname?", "Where are you from?", yadda yadda interesting. And I have about a dozen new friends on YT, LOL.
And when I went to bed yesterday - and I was really tired, mind - I couldn't even sleep but kept grinning like a lunatic.
So thank you, thank you, thank you, Hordes. You're the best fandom ever, I'm so glad to be a part of it!!! *noserubs all around*

Still, next time there'll be an event like that (and I was literally promised there would be!) I'm going to be there. Even if it probably means selling a kidney and my grandma. Everything comes with strings attached, after all.

*loves everyone madly*

Mar. 19th, 2010

Hiatus definitely OVER.


(Well, technically I don't, since there's still a couple of weeks of school, some minor exams and an oral exam in June. But the statement still sounds amazing.)

So after being practically dead for a couple of weeks, abandoning everyone, be it online or be it in real life, I've made it today. This week was horrible with first History on wednesday and then English today, but whatever, it's over.
(And can you believe that the text we had to work with in English was talking about DRAMATIC IRONY?! How the hell am I supposed to concentrate on, like, anything, when they are talking about DRAMATIC IRONY? Clearly this exam was not created to be taken by an Eskimo Whore.)
Miraculously I've managed to finish everything without major catastrophes and feel like the results will probably be decent. Not that it matters at the moment, since we won't know until June when FOUR people will have corrected them. Oh German bureaucracy, how do I love thee.

And now I have some major catching-up to do on all the fandom-related stuff. That's going to be some busy days, filled with IMPORTANT STUFF.
*cuddles everyone silly* So glad to be back!

Feb. 13th, 2010

*sneaks in* *rants* *sneaks out*

This is without doubt going to be the most useless post of the year. I really don't have anything to tell, but I need to get away from studying for a sec or two.

So, I'm fine, alive and healthy. Staying away from the computer is working out a lot better than I had suspected it would before.

I'm just coming up for air in between the Third Reich, the Cold War, the multiple ways of how "Medea" by Christa Wolf is actually a discussion of German Democratic Republic vs. Federal Republic of Germany, Georg Büchner as an opponent to Weimar Classicism and poems written by authors in exile. All these subjects may or may not be very interesting on their own but at the moment I'm kind of sick and tired.
And turns out there's actually stuff to do in preparation for English concerning the theme "individual and society", which we seem to have talked about for quite a while last year, only I don't remember. And I'm not all that interested either. But my teacher said I could stay away from the grammar lessons, I take that as a good sign.
And I might turn into a regular smoker soonish to compensate my stress level, which is NOT good.

In other news I don't get to spend any time with my friends or my boyfriend, there's still lots of snow outside and I hardly watch Show or any TV for that matter. But I'm participating in the voting-madness every chance I get. Sparkly AWZ-people totally have to win this.

And I have lots of wonderful things to look forward to once the madness is over. I booked a trip to Berlin in April, one to Denmark in June when EVERYTHING is done. Concert tickets, books that I've really wanted to read for a long time... It's going to be awesome. Just five more weeks... Surely that's doable.

*runs off again*

Jan. 29th, 2010

I'm still alive! - Or so I'd like to think.

Okay, it feels like I've been away from the computer for so long it's not even funny anymore. I have been sneaking in about every two days to read my emails and stuff, but that doesn't really count.
Real life in general and school in particular are being demanding bitches and there is no way it's going to get any better until the end of March! So see you lovely people in April. I'm just sneaking in right now and should actually be studying, but there's only so much studying one can do. Anyway, I won't be able to update regularly for the next couple of weeks, too much German, too much history. (Haven't figured out how to study for English yet, guess I could update my journal every once in a while and tell myself was helpful...) But I might be commenting from time to time and I'm definitely going to read and follow the message boards silently.

In other news -- I've been tagged! Whatever that means!

A. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.

B. Tag seven people to do the same.

C. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag "whoever wants to do it".

I can't tag anyone, everyone's already been tagged and answered more interestingly than I probably will. Besides, I don't even know how tagging works. *hangs head in shame*

1) I'm the most useless person ever when it comes to technical stuff. I can't download or install anything on my computer without the helpful assistance of my father who is for some reason a wizard with these things and thinks I'm making fun of him, because it's beyond him to understand how someone can NOT get these right away. It takes me ages to get used to new software and I still don't know how to tag people. :D

2) Tidy rooms confuse me. This seems to be an inherited thing, everyone in my family is incapable of not being messy and everyone likes things a bit (or a bit more) chaotic as well.

3) I'm constantly having a to-do-list but I'm never motivated enough to actually do the things on it. Which is the worst thing you can do, because that way you're always aware of everything you still have to do and are constantly frustrated with yourself because you still don't do anything about it.

4) I hate to make phone calls when I know more people with the same last name live there, who also answer the phone just saying their last name. For some reason I find it vastly embarrassing not to know who I'm talking to. And I have two friends who are twins and have the exact same voice and answer the phone exactly the same way. I never call them.

5) I've been a vegetarian for years now and I am extremely tired of people being intolerant about it. Why is it even something that I need approval or permission for to decide NOT to eat dead animals? I never quite got that.

6) I hate it when people have a strong German accent when speaking English. Unfortunately I have one myself, which annoys me big time. On the other hand I can find people extremely sexy just due to their accents. Best example for that is probably Luke Pritchard, singer of The Kooks.

7) If you want to really infuriate me, all you have to do is interrupt someone who is talking. It doesn't even have to be me, it can be anyone. I think it's the most rude and disrespectful thing to do.

Jan. 25th, 2010

Are you kidding me?

You know, I usually love my friends dearly.
Also I love postcards.

But OMG, are you kidding me? How can anyone in his right mind send me THIS NOW?

Yeah, rub some more salt into that wound, why don't you?

Jan. 21st, 2010

Successful procrastination techniques and shameless fandom pimping.

Somehow I ended up with a girl from New Zealand sitting next to me. No, really. She's actually staying with a friend of mine for a couple of weeks, but said friend called me today, sounding rather desperate, going "OMG, Dani, I have this really urgent appointment and I have to go to Neumünster tonight, WHAT DO I DO WITH HER?" And because I'm such a nice person *coughs* and because it's a good reason to procrastinate my studying, she's now here.

And I had to figure something out to keep the two of us entertained, so I introduced her to DeRo, AS YOU DO WHEN YOU HAVE A VISITOR WHO CAME ALL AROUND THE WORLD. So I forced her to watch Gay Boys With Issues all day, with the pleasant but of course completely unintended side effect that I had to watch as well.

She pretended not to get the hype pretty convincingly, going "Uhm yeah, they're cute, but what's the point?" - until now. Now she's sitting next to me, pricking and tickling me to get me away for the computer, so she can continue watching. I guess it is true, there's no way to escape the charms of Fandom. And I enjoy corrupting people. :)

(On a different note, it's making me nervous and confusing me big time, to have someone watching me typing in English and noticing every single mistake I make, while refusing to just freakin' correct me, already.)


Jan. 18th, 2010

Honestly, how much can a single person fail?!

So since I've chosen history as one of my main subjects at school, we do a lot of things that aren't necessarily part of normal class, like, I don't know, study trips, going to museums and stuff.

And since we're about to revise everything connected to the Third Reich, my teacher organised an excursion to the Neuengamme concentration camp, which is a memorial now. Obviously I think that's a good thing to do, because knowing and remembering what happened in Nazi Germany is the essential thing to avert it ever happens again. I also still feel like being German gives you the responsibility to deal with the topic in an extremely cautious and sensitive way.

Unfortunately our guide there didn't seem to agree.
After walking around in the cold and the snow for three hours, my teacher suggested to go inside and have a look at the exhibition instead, because everyone was shivering, to which that woman replied "Also bitte, was einen nicht umbringt macht einen nur härter! Aber naja, jedem das seine!" ("Oh please, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! But fine, to each his own!" or something similar).
I can't even explain how you can fuck up that much in only two sentences. I guess the first one is obvious - to say "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" at a place where people had to work 14 hours a day, with hardly anything to eat until they died, freezing or starving, is about the worst thing you can do. And as if that isn't enough "Jedem das Seine" is also the phrase that was placed over the entrance of the Buchenwald concentration camp. (In that case probably meaning "Everyone gets what he deserves.")

Now can a person working at a place like that really be that dumb and not notice what she's saying? I don't think so.
How can she still be working there? It's rather shocking, actually.

Jan. 10th, 2010

"The revolution is like Saturn - it eats its own children."

Wohoo, I have a free day from school tomorrow, because there's snow. Because apparently Germans are insanely scared of snow. I mean, honestly, there's like 20cm of snow and I don't see any problems whatsoever with getting to school, but no. Seems to be way too dangerous. Well, I'm not about to argue.

In other news my boyfriend and me went to the theater last week to see "Danton's Death" and OMG, it was brilliant. I always love going to the theater, but unfortunately can't afford it very often. But we managed to get our hands on some cheap tickets and it was so worth it.

The theater of Hamburg is always a great location anyway, let me say this first. It's over a hundred years old, with lots of pomp and gold and velvet. So yeah, that's great.
But more importantly the play was amazing. Georg Büchner, the author, is one of my favourite German writers of all time anyway. Unfortunately he died really young, but everything he wrote is sheer brilliance.
Danton's Death is the story of the end of the French Revolution. Robespierre is about to establish his Reign of Terror, while Danton, the idealistic humanist, tries to end the horror. But it's less about the victory of one ideology over another than about how Danton is tired of fighting. He doesn't fail because of his enemies, but because he mistrusts the revolution in its very nature, because he is disgusted with humanity and because he is longing for death while being afraid that dying may not give him the "nothing" he is longing for. Obviously he dies at the end, being guillotined by Robespierre's sidekicks.
It's typical for Georg Büchner, who was trying to prepare a revolution in Germany while writing this play, to have this kind of fatalism and determinism in his plays. But like I said, I love him.

And it also helps, that I have a bit of a crush on one of the actors of the ensemble, Aleksandar Radenković, since he was Ferdinand in "Intrigue and Love" by Friedrich Schiller.

And (because I'm a meanie) I'm not going to post the picture of him kneeling over another man completely naked while sticking that gun in his mouth. Phallus-symbol, anyone?

Jan. 5th, 2010


This may seem a bit random, but... YAY, SNOW!

Okay it's not that much, but it's a lot more and a lot nicer than what we usually have here.
So we took the car and slithered our way to visit the horses and go riding in the winter forest. Now my strange, old horse is from Iceland and still seems to think it could be a little colder, but it's about as cold as it gets here and she really enjoyed it.

I love it. Who needs the summer anyway? :)

Jan. 3rd, 2010

Mea culpa, GTST.

Okay, I know I've been bitching like mad about the gay-bashing plot on GTST beforehand. And now having seen it, I'm thinking that maybe I shouldn't have. I'm still not crazy about including the incident, I stand by that. But maybe I should've had more faith in the writers.

Because I've seen it and... Boy, did they pull it off. Yes, the bashing was difficult to watch but I think IF you decide to show a story like that, you should go all the way. Don't sugarcoat it, because it is brutal and cruel and there's nothing to euphemise about that fact. I probably won't be able to rewatch those scenes very often, seen them twice by now and it's gut-wrenching. But like I said, it should be, it's supposed to make the viewer feel uncomfortable.

But what really got to me was the way they've handled the aftermath so far. I think it was amazing. All scenes focused on creating a certain atmosphere that felt like the minutes after a fatal storm is gone. Everyone being slightly numb, not having yet fully realized what had happened, consciousness only slowly leaking in. No one really panicked, it was more like people were paralyzed by the shock. The dialogue was rather matter of factly, yet the actors conveyed the terror really well.
All filmic techniques were reduced to a minimum, slow camera work, less editing than usual. Light dimmed down, discreet music.
It was less about what was being said and done than about conveying the raw emotions.

Actually it was one of the best episodes of GTST I've seen yet. Really feel like I should've given everyone more credit. That's a talented bunch of people working there.

Of course, we'll still have to see, where this is going from here. How will Noud and Lucas deal with what happened? Who were those bashers? I had the feeling that Dex might have known the one, who looked up at him, before he went away. That could even be connected to that story about the soccer coach, he got abused by? IDK. I sure hope they'll deal with Dex's issues in a good way, because that character is on his way to being nothing but sinister. But he has a lot of issues, that's for sure and if he learns to deal with them, who knows what could happen?
So many questions, so few answers but still I'm now confident that they'll handle it quite well. That's rather scary, actually.

(LOL, I'm curious if embedding videos works. :o)

Also on Monday we'll get a sexy male nurse, I've seen the preview clip. Not that I care about such shallow things.

Jan. 1st, 2010

The same procedure as every year, James!

Over here the new year is already 17 hours old, but I still feel the need to wish everyone a great, sparkly, awesome New Year!

I don't usually believe in celebrating birthdays, Christmas and so on just because they exist. But watching the fireworks at midnight with my loved ones, drinking bubbly, is always something that feels quite ceremonial. I don't know.

2009 has been only been moderate, some great things happened, as well as some not so great. 2010 scares me big time, a lot of things are going to change for me. But I'm also really looking forward to it.

Anyway I hope that 2010 is going to be awesome for all of you. Try to keep at least some of your resolutions. Or don't, if that's more fun. Stay healthy, find love. And here's to more great, sparkly storylines for our Gay Boys.

Hugs and kisses to everyone.

Also, I discovered that Essen is the European Capital of Culture in 2010. I'm sure no other city could be better for that job. Let's hope some of the glitter reaches fictional!Essen. :)

Dec. 30th, 2009

I can't take any more gay-bashing plots!

So my newest addiction, Goede Tijden Slechte Tijden from the Netherlands, is going to have a gay-bashing incident in its New Year's Eve episode. And I just saw the preview clip and I'm so not looking forward to this episode. Meaning I'm actually thinking about just skipping it (I probably won't, though), because I can't bear the very idea of it happening.

GTST features a gay character called Lucas Sanders since last summer. He's made of pure awesome. In his late teens, completely confident and happy with who he is and unapologetic about it, speaks his mind, enjoys life. He's portrayed by the lovely Ferry Doedens and so far I've been completely in love with everything this show has done.
Lucas came back to the Netherlands after living in the USA for several years. He had to come to terms with his relationship to his mother, because he felt like she wasn't there enough while he was abroad. Also she didn't know he was gay until that point and had to deal with it, but she came around and it was all rather natural and no one made too big a deal of it.
Lucas was then involved in a plot with the homophobic Dex. Of course everyone suspected him to be gay, but thanks to an unexpected storyline twist we now know that that's probably not the case, but that he has been abused by his soccer coach at the age of 14. I give GTST massive credits for daring to pick this subject, for the unexpectedness and the superb acting by everyone involved.
At the moment Lucas (who has never actually been in love before) has fallen for his seemingly straight best friend Noud. And he's really, really sweet, clumsy and adorkable in this plot.

So much as far as the awesome is concerned. But now both Noud and Lucas will be viciously bashed on New Year's Eve for a completely harmless hug between friends.

Now of course I'm very well aware that horrible things like that happen every day and yes, even in tolerant countries like the Netherlands. Still I think it isn't necessary or good to include a gay-bashing in every single gay (or coming-out) storyline. After all, there are still many people who have lots of positive reactions to their coming-out and don't have to endure severe physical and emotional violence. And telling these kinds of stories is always connected with a big portion of responsibility for what young gay and lesbian people expect when coming out. But always something horrible like that has to happen, most of the time even with people ending up being hospitalized. I think it's kind of awful.

I'm not saying that soaps shouldn't tackle the issue of anti-gay violence at all, because like I said, it exists and has to be dealt with. But it would be so nice to see a story of a gay character who doesn't have to face all this crap but gets positive reactions and only has to deal with the same stuff like every straight soap character. I think it would be a great gesture and would very likely get lots of positive feedback.

And I so could've seen this happening to Lucas. He has an amazing support system of family and friends and it would have been interesting to see him deal with his unrequited crush on Noud and just interact with all the people around him. It seems to be such an open-minded, positive, non-violent environment. I thought that maybe just for once we wouldn't get the gay-bashing.

It's also a big pet peeve that they so often use the gay-bashing thing to make the closeted guy admit his feelings, come to terms with who he is or falling in love with the other one. I don't really see why that would happen. You could think that at least some would be terrified by the violence against homosexuals and be driven even further into denial. IDK.
Now I don't know if that's what's going to happen with Noud, because GTST has been pretty unpredictable so far and hardly releases any spoilers, but if they now make Noud fall for Lucas "just" because he got bashed, I'm not going to be impressed.

I'm annoyed, in case you couldn't tell already. I don't want to see all this violence, I can't take anymore of this and as we know the next gay-bashing is going to happen to Carsten on German GZSZ in January. I do not want to see it.

But guess all I can do is wait and see how it'll play out, watch through my fingers and hope that the plot is going to be better than I expected it to be. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

By the way, subbed GTST-clips can be found on the youtube channel of the amazing person called GTSTfanMark. Probably I scared everybody off with my bitching, but in case I didn't and you can spare some time, go watch, so far it's been awesome.

Dec. 29th, 2009

Uhm... Hi there!

So, I decided that since everyone has a blog to talk about things, why shouldn't I have one as well. And since it's mostly going to be rambling about my awesome fandoms and most people there aren't German I thought "Heck, whatever, might as well do it in English." Also I'm totally going to lie to myself and say it's helpful to do this in preparation of my finals. That's clever, isn't it? Yeah, I thought not.

Anyway some of you will know me as placebo on The Gays of Daytime message board and/or LadyOfTheFlowers90 on youtube. I'm a sucker for slash and kind of dependent on this whole international-www-conspiracy because not too many people around me get my enthusiasm or the idea that snogging boys are like THE GREATEST THING EVAH. Morons.

Well, I'm going to add people I recognize from somewhere to my buddy list and hopefully not be too scary and stalkerish, because obviously I don't have friends at the moment *sad face* and that way it's kind of boring. (HAI to everyone! Feel free to add me.)

Also I don't know jack shit about HTML or java-script or making videos or avatars so this is all going to be pretty plain. Or maybe I'll learn something. Possibly. Probably not, to be honest.